All of this puts a tremendous pressure on one’s emotions as well. Whether we be the friends or family of those affected or the actual affected.  The bummer is that there are also people out there that believe they do not need to help.  Or, because of their own short sidedness, refuse to help those they know.  This is inexcusable.  We are all in a state of need.  If it is not financial, the least we can do is be empathetic with our fellow-man and his struggles.

I have never in my life seen anything as disgusting as the contempt of those that refuse to help their family.  It is that single act of selfishness that speaks more to the character of the person that refuses to help.  We as human beings are bound by the same genetic code.  We are the same species.  Then, the commonality of family comes into play and we would be compelled to be bonded.  The truth is that is not always reality.

How sad is the truth of our current culture.  That family turns its back on its own.  This is not to say that allowing an addict to hit bottom in order to recover is not a good thing.  It is to say that unrealistic prejudice should never cloud our vision.  By our prejudice I am referring to the fact that we pigeon-hole people into a certain stage in life and do not allow them to grow, evolve or mature.  How pathetic.

I can only hope that we are all challenged by our current surroundings to look past our prejudices and see the human being in the midst of struggle.  To acknowledge the truth that it could be us.

Most days, I am attempting to justify these articles.  You see I have a love affair with reflective objects.  Not my reflection!  I did not say I was suffering from a narcissistic condition!  I struggle to walk away from all those colorful glitter packs at the craft store.  I know that I should start a 12-step group for my addiction to all things bright and beautiful but, I don’t want to.

I believe that of all days, today I can celebrate the joy of the sparkly things that surround me.  I can relish my understanding husband and enjoy the reality that I am just a girly girl at heart!

The stories I had told about his artistic undertakings left me speechless.  Then, right before my eyes, he did the unthinkable-he made something!  Now this boy did not just make a simple drawing or a little trinket, he made a full-fledged creation!  From nothing!!!  

It all started with an empty toilet paper roll, then some paper, then it was, ”Heather, do you have any glue?”

“No, glue.  I have tape.”

“Okay!”

Off he went.  He made a WATER TIGHT BOAT.  I was gobsmacked.  The 9-year-old was a design genius.  The boat sat on my counter for a week and haunted me.  It would tell me things about art.  It would mock me and laugh at me.  It would taunt me with its simplicity.  

The family is camping now but the boat is still emblazoned in my brain.   The art of this energetic boy still teasing me to do something with my own talent saying, Can you do that!?!

Don’t get me wrong, I would NEVER complain about opportunity.  It is what the past 365 days have been anticipating.  Nevertheless, my brain is ramping up to be overloaded with the business of life.  I tend to be a methodical person so the idea of busy-ness conjures this visual image of a beehive-a bunch of honey bees swirling around doing this and that.  I like order, peace, a controlled approach to things. 

I realize I can have a full schedule and still maintain the peaceful existence that comes with an intentional life.  It is what I do for Pete’s sake!  The anxiety that presents itself is exactly that;  My own fear.  The sheer panic that somewhere, somehow I will fail.  If I fail, then my efforts will have been wasted. 

Now this is just ridiculous.  Really, girl! Buck up and put your big pants on! You have been on this planet long enough to have learned how to gather yourself.  But have I?  There’s school and school work and tests and clients and housework and commitments and social events and exercise and…oh that blasted beehive is going again.

The truth of the matter is this, I don’t have to have it “all together”.  Life is progressive.  If I will stop being consumed with the thought and just be, just do, just exist in the moment IT will all fall in line being perfectly ordered as I am so gratefully accustomed.

That, is the lesson of last Summer.  The lesson of fun.  To live in the moment, even in that beehive.  Those bees are not paying attention to anyone else’s buzzing-neither should we.  Just existing in right now, right this second will be the most peaceful place.  AHHHHH.  Now the livin’ really is easy!

I have been volunteering, blogging on my other site(the exquisite house), tweeting, facebooking, cooking, cleaning, visiting friends and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.  No, really! 

The good news is I am just in time for summer and all the good things that come with that.  My best friend is scheduled to come to the States from Denmark with her family. The days she is here will include lots of shopping, funny accents and tons of laundry.  Eight people in my house is something I have never experienced except for a meal.  This is gonna be fun!  The rest of the summer is full of helping our best couple friends with a remodel, a trip to Tehachapi, a quilting class, more volunteering, a growing new business and oh yes, a bit of faux tanning.  No more sun worship for me after teh melanoma gene rearing its ugly head! Thank goodness for spray tans.

I have to say more than anything, what was all that silence?  The best am able so surmise is that my deep introspection that started with a self-imposed hiatus has resulted in a renaissance woman who is a little 9-5 and a lot her own person!

My life as of today is a story yet to be told.  God willing, my memoir will be in the works this year.  The singular tale that is mine can best be described as a great tragedy finished by a happy ending.  To date, the perils of my life have been those that while perhaps encountered by others, are so sad at places that others that have joined me on the journey are awestruck by my ability to survive.  It is this part of my narrative that provides the a ha inspiration for others to undertake the great sorrows of life and live to tell about it.

While I am faced with the  truth of the end of life, I see that it is vital to share our strength.  To pass along our experience is to provide others with the gifts God has given to us.  Now don’t anybody get excited and think I or anyone I know is dying.  That is not the impetuous for this prose.  If I am rigorously honest, the anniversary of my sixth year of sobriety brings about much reflection as it does every year, thus my sharing.  More than the inspiration for all of this again is the reality that we do in fact, have a start and end date to our lives.  That knowledge at this point leads me to focus on what I want to do with the days remaining and where to leave my footprint on our planet. 

I have begun to eat better, exercise, lose weight as all do when we start to look at the potential for the end of things.  I have also begun to look at the importance of learning to laugh at things, playing with my dog and enjoying those that share my life. The people who are not intimately acquainted with me because of their fault or mine, I have tried to make amends to.  Except if there would be harm-no regrets basically.  The result is an extraordinarily contrived life that brings tremendous contentment. 

To date, the story is not over.  I am not so special that someone else does not have the same tale.  The thing that makes me terminally unique is my acknowledgment of my lack of uniqueness.  The “right sizing” of the ego, if you will, allows me to live in a place of peace with what was, what is and what is to come.  That, is the best part of knowing that at some point, this too shall pass.

I was asked today if I had posted anything new to my blog.  The truth of the matter is I decided that this blog was more opinion than anything else.  Thanks to the encouragement of my darling mother in law, aka mom 2, I am resuming to post my thoughts, feelings and observations once again.

The past six months have been a time of reflection for me.  I have begun to come to terms with life changes that have forced me to adjust my activities and endeavors.  It has been a time of hiatus from my art;  The very thing for which I existed since 2005.  Yet, I know that life’s new direction is exactly where I am supposed to be.  The peace of knowing that change can bring good in the midst of discomfort has been the saving grace of my days.

I did manage to have an amazing summer with tremendous experiences and heartfelt community.  The friends of summer were cherished.  The times we spent were priceless.  It was a time of letting go.  Not to mention great tans!  I am grateful for the days I spent with those that were so close in those months.

The holidays were spent rekindling the family spirit.  My closest relatives were a special part of this season.  I found myself reflecting on just how incredibly valued those are that I identify as family.  My husband and I shared a trip  to the California Gold Country.  For us, nourishing the bond of our commitment to each other was just what was needed.

The New Year has brought new resolutions that have staying power.  My health has become priority number one.  The betrayal of chronic illness forces me to be diligent with the last frontiers of addictive behaviors.  No longer can I be numb in any aspect of my life.  I MUST be conscience.  As a sober person, all I can say is if someone tells me to give up coffee I will be jumping off suicide bridge!  All kidding aside, caffeine really is the last thing I am holding to as a legitimate addiction.  I am proud to be a coffee snob and delve into how to make the yummiest gluten free, sugar free, cholesterol free latte invented. 

I will attempt to be consistent with my observations this year.  I would encourage my readers to help me build this blog into what the universe would have it be by commenting and sharing the link.  In return, I will endeavor to produce intentional informative entries.  Below is a picture of the view from my home, a beautiful reminder that we are but a part of this great big world. 

In a casual show last night, I collaborated on two very fun pieces with Frank Zgonc.  This was a great stretch of creativity and mediums for both of us.  Frank is a photographer by trade.  I myself tend to work in ceramics for my paying gigs.  While painting, specifically acrylic on canvas has been my first love, it was quite a twist to work with someone on two paintings.

We both had a canvas and laid down the backgrounds.  I worked in the warm hues while Frank focused on more delicate cool tones.  Then, we switched.  What a curve ball!  It was exciting to force my mind to engage in a totally different mood.  Once we laid down the second layers, we switched  again.  I was presented with a funky distortion of what I had originally in my mind.  I LOVED it!  I decided to infuse some humor and Frank took our pastoral painting to the next level providing flowers and shading to the trees. 

The final switcheroo left me almost blocked as to where to go next.  I decided to push our lovely impressionistic pastoral into the modern era with a blue wash rinsing down over the trees.  It turned out so exciting.  Frank took our hot Southwest endeavor over the edge and put lots of interesting modern touches on a fun piece.

The result of our work is to be auctioned for charity by the Monrovia Association of Fine Arts.  I look forward to seeing what they fetch!  Keep your calendars clear the last 3 Saturdays in the Summer as Frank and I will be at it again in June, July and August for the MAFA Art Walks in Old Town Monrovia.

Such a strange turn of events in the life of one that lives in the midst of creative failure.  Most successful people can grasp what that means.  It is the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein.  It is Van Gogh for us artists.  The constant, what if this works? 

Sometimes it does.  I am genuinly touched for anyone that experiences the new reality of success in the midst of myriad failures.  The self satisfaction is humbling.  Then, when someone else notices one’s success; well that can feel like finding the holy grail.